两个g的加速度

（作者不详）
So the other night I can't sleep, so I go downstairs and pour a bowl of cereal and decide I'll eat it in my room while I watch Conan.
After I pour my cereal, I turn the lights back off and it's pitch black as I walk up the stairs to my bedroom.
By the way, I'm only wearing a pair of silk shorts.
So I'm trying to balance my bowl of cereal in the dark so I don't spill, thinking I'm doing okay. When I reach the top of the stairs, the bowl tips and I feel it spill all over my shorts.
So I walk back downstairs to grab a rag and clean up. I find a roll of paper towels and I pick up all the cereal inside it and walk downstairs to throw it away and put my bowl in the sink.
Then I start to clean up the milk on the floor and on my shorts.
Well this is near my parents' bedroom, and as I'm cleaning, I hear them having sex. Being male, I start to get an erection at the sounds of sex, despite the fact that I know it's my parents having the sex.
So I try to tune it out and hurry up with the spilt milk. In the midst of all this, I start to have a coughing fit. A result of being a smoker.
A minute later, my mom opens her bedroom door - wrapped in a blanket - and sees me standing there with an erection bulging through my shorts, which are still wet with a seeping liquid, and a paper towel in my hand dripping white stuff, all outside her bedroom door where she and my dad were just having sex.
I've never thought seriously about running away from home until that night.